im not here to please anybody but myself

I still love him even after all this time I still love him. I wish more then anything that I could have him back that I could call him mine again and that he would not only be my boyfriend but my best friend. I wish that he could see himself the way I see him. I see so much good in him that nobody does. He’s an amazing person and he just makes stupid decisions Bc he doesn’t think he’s better then that but he is. He is so much better then that. I have so much I wish I could tell him but I never will get to. It breaks my heart knowing we won’t have another shot at an us..

i wish high school wouldve been more like the movies but its not its nothing but drama. you cant trust anybody there. you hear shit about yourself that you didnt even know happened. you find out who you can trust and who your real friends are. you start to figure out who you are and then realize that hey this isnt me. 

most girls sit and just day dream about the perfect love scniario(sp) because thats what the movies have taught us, they taught us that if you dressed a certain way looked a certain way and acted a certain way you would find the love of your life and live happily ever after but reality check thats not how high school workes.

welcome to this place we call school where you will spend the next 4 years being judged on every damn thing you do.where boys will feed you any sweet line they can think of and stupid us we will fall for every word because in the movies they didnt teach us that boys could be liars and be so deciving. you will think you fall in love but rerally your just another girl in his parade of girls.

the way i see it is no matter what you do its not good enough in the high school world, if you smoke your a pot head  or your trying to be cool if you dont your a pussy if your a virgin your a goody to shoes if your not your a slut. like i said you will be judged on everything. no matter what you do it wont be good enough because you know us high school kids we think were the shit.

we always hear these next fours are crucial they will define you or high school was the best years of my life or dont try growing up to fast but parents dont realize times have changed school doesnt work the way it used to. when my mom was in school the boys would give the girl their class ring to show they were taken now boys just put a realtionship status up on fb but it doesnt really mean anything becaus the boys dont respect the girls like they used to back then they will go out to parties and get with any girl they can while your out having a girls night thinking your boyfriend is being faithful.

the point of this rant is that we need to stop caring what people think but you know we are human and thats hard because its natural for us to care but we need to figure out who we REALLY are and stop trying to be someone we arent just to fit in becuae thats where we screw up.